The Hangover 2 is coming out this weekend, and what could be more appropriate that sneaking some drinks into the theater to watch it? However, all drinks are NOT created equal, and some are much harder to sneak in and consume in a theater than others. The following list is of the Top Five Worst Drinks to Sneak Into a Movie Theater.
5. Mai Tai
Everyone knows the quality of a Mai Tai is directly proportional to the amount of fruit and umbrellas that adorn your glass. This makes sneaking a Mai Tai into a movie theater a very cumbersome affair. Not only that, but unless you have a tumbler that’s in the shape of a Tiki God, you’re going to spill your drink all over your purse there, tough guy. You’re better off sneaking in rum to spike your coke you brought at the concession stand, and enjoy a Mai Tai at the Tiki Ti on Sunset after the movie.
4. A Yard of Beer
Beer in and of itself is a fine drink to sneak into a movie. It’s really the yard of it that’s the hard part. You will almost certainly be stopped by an usher, even if you try to sneak the yard in by concealing it in your extra baggy pants. You’ll also block the view of those behind you when you tip the yard up to get the last bit of beer. Also, after consuming that much beer, you are going to have to pee the entire second half of the movie. To eliminate most of these problems, just try to sneak in a half yard instead.
3. Sake Bomb
Yeah, a movie theater just isn’t that conducive to doing a Sake Bomb. Lot’s of newer movie theaters have wider armrests and cup holders, but neither one is going to give you the surface needed to set up a Sake bomb properly. Also, shouting out “SAKE!” and pounding the chair constantly is going to annoy the other patrons around you. Save this drink for the frat party you’re attending later.
2. Flaming Dr. Pepper
Somewhat similar to the Sake Bomb in the sense that you are dropping a shot into a beer, this drink has the added disadvantage that the shot is on FIRE. True, this does make the drink a lot more awesome, but isn’t so great in a movie theater. The light from the fire will distract from what’s going on the screen, and there is a chance that you could burn the theater down. Lots of bars have stopped serving the drink because of exactly this problem. And a typical movie theater has more things that could catch on fire than a typical bar.
Champagne by its very nature is designed to attract attention. The loud pop of the cork, the stream of fizzy liquid, the clinking of glasses during a toast. These are all great during a wedding, graduation, or parole party, but during a movie, they are all unwanted distractions. Plus, unless you’re sitting in the front row, there’s a chance you could hurt someone with a flying cork. Plus, considering the proper way to open champagne is with a sword, you might get busted for taking a weapon into the theater.