Man Commits The Cheesiest Crime Ever

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(Credit: ALAIN JOCARD/AFP/Getty Images)

(Credit: ALAIN JOCARD/AFP/Getty Images)

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The heist of the century? Maybe not. The heist of the day? You better believe it. A 34 year-old man identified as Veniamin Konstantinovich was arrested in New Jersey Tuesday for stealing 21 tons of cheese worth about $200,000, reports the Huffington Post.

Now, some questions may pop into your head, questions like:

  • What kind of cheese was it? (For the record, it was Muenster)
  • Where did the cheese come from? (The cheese was owned by K & K Cheese)
  • How did Konstantinovich haul all 21 tons of it? (He was driving a refrigerated truck)
  • What will happen to the cheese now? (If deemed safe, it will be donated)

Of course, what you’re probably really wondering is, why the hell would someone steal 42,000 pounds of cheese? Why does anyone need 42,000 pounds of cheese?

The answer to that question is that Konstantinovich was able to steal the cheese using false paperwork, which doesn’t answer the question at all, because seriously, there is no rational answer as to why someone would need/steal 21 tons of cheese. Other than, of course, it’s some good ass cheese.

- Carlos Delgado, CBS Radio

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